The Perfect Plan
by estuesday
Summary: The moment it came to him, Hikaru knew it was a brilliant idea. His only trouble was in convincing Touya and everyone else.  HikaruxAkira.  Full cast.


The Perfect Plan

The moment it came to him, Hikaru knew it was a brilliant idea. His only trouble was in convincing Touya (and everyone else). The first time Hikaru tried, he was summarily thrown out. "But, wait, no! It's brilliant, Touya!" Hikaru pounded on the door. "It's the perfect solution!"

"Go home and sleep it off!" came Touya's voice through the door.

"I'm not drunk!"

"That doesn't reassure me!"

"I'm not crazy, either!"

"I doubt that!"

The door remained closed. Hikaru pointed a finger at it. "I will return," he warned. "And maybe by then you will realize what a _genius_ I am."

Touya was silent. Hikaru could hear his mother inquiring whether everything was all right. There was the sound of a lock turning and a bolt shooting home. Touya's mother murmured something too low to hear, then a more audible, "Oh, you know how I hate it when you boys fight."

Hikaru stormed off in a righteous fury. Even Touya's _mother_ agreed. Touya would see.

Hikaru considered getting Touya's dad's help. The once-meijin could only approve of Touya spending more time with his go rival, working on improving their go together. Then Hikaru actually considered it more fully, specifically how he would go about approaching the conversation. He imagined kneeling before Touya's parents and requesting—that was as far as he got before he turned green and decided maybe another choice would be better.

Maybe Ogata? He was Touya Meijin's student and Touya still regarded him highly. Hikaru could just—the ensuing mental image was worse than the first.

One of his friends. They _had_ to help. It was part of the job description.

"Are you _insane_?" asked Waya bluntly, dropping his burger and staring at Hikaru like he'd just declared shougi the better game.

"It's a good idea," protested Hikaru. "It's the perfect idea. It won't even change things that much. In fact, it'll keep the good things the way they are." He resolutely stuffed several of his own fries into his mouth.

Waya pushed his tray away. "Thanks, I can't even _eat_ now." He stood up.

"But, Waya," Hikaru stood, too, and tried to talk around his food, ignoring how little bits of it flew out and speckled the table and their trays. "You've gotta help me!"

"I can help you, all right," said Waya, "with a nice straight jacket and trip to the psychiatric ward."

"Waya, _please_."

"No."

"Come on!"

"There is no way in hell," Waya scowled, "that I am helping you woo Touya Akira." He stomped out without another word, ignoring all further pleas on Hikaru's part.

Maybe Ogata was a better idea after all.

Ogata laughed at him. He had spent a moment frozen, cigarette poised millimeters away from the flame of his lighter, eyes fixed on Hikaru and mind obviously racing as he gauged whether Hikaru was actually serious. And then he had laughed and laughed. He was still laughing, breaking down finally to lean over and clutch his sides.

It was kind of creepy, actually.

Hikaru threw up his hands and left, muttering angrily to himself, "I _knew_ this was a bad idea."

"Akari, come on, you're a girl, you know all about those squishy romance things."

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you, the music's too loud." The faint strains of classical music were nearly overpowered by Akari's voice.

"Look, just five minutes of advice, okay? Should I go for red roses or some other type of plant-y thing?"

"What? I think our connection's bad." Akari's voice came through quite clearly.

"At least tell me if I need to buy him a ring. Maybe a ring would work better."

"Look, I'm sorry." Muffled, quieter, "So sorry, Yuuya. My ex does not know when to give up."

"Does it have to be diamond?" asked Hikaru rather desperately, "because diamonds are kind of expensive and—"

"Goodbye, Hikaru." A beep and then the annoying drone of the dial tone followed.

Hikaru frowned at the phone. "Some childhood best friend you are," he grumbled at it as he placed it back on the receiver. Oh well, maybe he could get away with a nice, engraved gold. Surely Touya wouldn't be _that_ fussy.

Next on the list was Isumi. Isumi would understand. Isumi was a loyal friend and likely sympathetic to his cause.

"I've already spoken with Waya," Isumi informed Hikaru.

Isumi was a traitor.

"You might want to consider other options," he added in a kindly tone.

Hikaru's was best described as belligerent. "There are no other options. Statistics are clear. If Touya marries someone else, his go skills will go down. The only way is to marry him and spend every spare second with him working on our go."

"You mean to tell me," Isumi looked pole-axed, "That you want to be with Touya because of _go_."

"Of course," said Hikaru. "What else is there?"

When Hikaru first walked into the Go Institute to blow off steam and study kifu, all of the other pros in the lobby seemed to stare at him. Oh, they weren't looking, but that was how he could tell. No one met his eyes. One was overcome by paroxysms, shaking violently before dashing into the stairwell. Giggling sounds soon ensued.

Hikaru glared around him and decided against taking the elevator up to work on his go, thinking that swiftness would serve his needs better than a cooler head.

It was time for his last resort. Waya had likely corrupted everyone else, if Ogata hadn't gotten to them first. Besides, this last one couldn't go wrong.

His mother didn't answer the door as quickly as usual. Then she had stared at him, first words out of her mouth, "Where did I go wrong?" Hikaru froze.

His list of sins ran longer than he could properly keep track. He hadn't called in a couple weeks (or had it been a month already?). He hadn't dropped by in longer. He hadn't made an extended visit in over a year. Being a go professional was _hard work_. He lived and worked in different parts of the city. It was difficult to find the time to devote to the train ride over and back to visit someone, even his mother.

The excuses paled in comparison to her expression.

And this was exactly why he had to keep Touya from marrying anyone else. She would want _time_ and they would never see each other again except for formal matches and conferences and occasional matches at one of the salons and _it wasn't enough_. Their go was more important than small concerns like reproduction and family.

His mother apparently didn't think so. "What have I done to deserve a son like this?" Maybe it had been longer than a month. "I'd be okay if you were gay; there are many respectable men who like other men—" Or not. "—But to find out that at your age you're still just obsessed with a _game_—" And apparently everyone was gossiping about him to his _mother_. "And still haven't found anyone—" If he were a girl he would be getting the Christmas cake speech.

Hikaru tried to interrupt. His mother just spoke over him. "Is it because your father was never around, or was it something I did, somewhere I went wrong—?"

After another ten minutes with no signs of stopping, only tangents into Hikaru's many other problems, he made hasty excuses and fled.

Hikaru went back to his apartment, formulating strategies. He flopped down on the couch dispiritedly. He'd played multiple boards before, but never against so many opponents. Everyone seemed arrayed against him. He dreaded to think that they'd already gotten to Touya's parents. Hikaru didn't know much about this silly dating thing from his brief stint with Akari, but all appearances seemed to suggest that it was never a good thing when your future in-laws were out to get you.

He made a mental list. The traditional items the magazine suggested for dating were mostly useless. Chocolate would likely be thrown back at him. Flowers would probably suffer the same fate. Lingerie . . . would get him killed.

Jewelry was expensive, but he would have to buy a ring anyway. Hikaru brightened considerably. It was convenient. It was efficient. It was as perfect an idea as his previous perfect idea. Hikaru tried to remember where the closest jewelry store was.

A loud knocking at his door interrupted his thoughts. Hikaru hoped it wasn't Waya, to try to talk him out of it. Or Isumi. Or Akari. Or—Hikaru thought with a shudder—Ogata. His mother had already left a long message on his answering machine. It couldn't . . . Hikaru could barely bear to think it might be Touya's parents. He got off the couch and crossed to the door. He leaned over his shoes to check the peephole with the greatest reluctance and horror.

Touya was standing in front of his door, arms crossed, lips pulled down, clearly impatient. Hikaru still hadn't gotten a ring. He hadn't decided on a speech. He hadn't done the proper thing and asked Touya's parents. He wasn't _ready_.

Hikaru looked longingly to the window.

"I know you're in there!"

Hikaru sighed and opened the door. Touya came in, movements jerky, wrenching off his shoes. "Sorry for the interruption," he began, voice stilted. Then he nearly tripped over the pile of shoes on the floor of Hikaru's entranceway. "You don't have a shoe rack?"

Hikaru scratched his nose sheepishly. "I only moved in a couple months ago—"

"Three years, Shindou!"

"—And it seemed like unnecessary effort."

"You don't even have house slippers."

"I think they're somewhere in the pile." Hikaru pointed at his shoes.

"And you expect me to _marry_ you?"

Hikaru rolled his eyes. "We can buy a shoe rack and new slippers, okay?"

"And what about the rest of your apartment?" asked Touya wildly, gesturing around him before actually looking. He stopped, bemused. Hikaru waited. "It's . . . clean."

"I vacuum every week," said Hikaru. "I'm perfect house wife material," he added, tone earnest. "I even know how to cook." His mother had made certain of that before she'd allowed him to move in to an apartment of his own, something about no son of hers getting malnutrition from endless instant ramen.

Touya strode over to the couch, sitting down and glaring up at Hikaru. Touya didn't show much interest in the apartment for someone who had never been in it before. This cut out Hikaru's easy lead-in to how much money he made now that he had a title and how much he had saved since he became a go professional that he could contribute to their yearly finances. He wouldn't even get to point out the financial savings they would get by sharing rent and utilities. Not that Touya really needed to pay rent at his parents', but Hikaru had been hoping to distract him from that.

"You do realize we can't legally get married, right?"

Was this capitulation? Hikaru crossed the room toward him. "It's legal in England."

Flatly, "That's England."

"And Canada!"

"That's Canada."

"And, um, Sweden."

"That's Sweden."

"Er, and America!"

"You don't even know, do you? You're just thinking of random countries and guessing!"

Stubbornly, Hikaru insisted, "It's a possibility."

"In other countries."

"But the possibility's still there!"

"This is _Japan_."

"But, I mean, it's the result that's important, not the legalities." Touya looked doubtful. Hikaru grabbed Touya's hands and decided to make another go of it, kneeling down on one knee in front of his feet. "Touya, will you just stop being stupid and marry—"

"I spoke to Isumi." Touya's voice was even flatter than before. His hands were limp in Hikaru's.

"And?" asked Hikaru, confused.

"And worrying about my go is a terrible reason to get married."

"What? But it's a great reason. Did you read last week's Go Weekly? Marriage usually means a reduction in a go player's ranking by, on average—" Touya's shuttered expression alone cut off Hikaru's impassioned response.

"Shindou. I'm not getting married."

"But I can buy a ring!" Hikaru waved his hands.

"To anyone."

This was slightly more encouraging. "But, see, if you're worried about your go, I think that together we could work around that. Most go players don't marry other go players. We can spend all our time playing! Our go can only continue to get better, maybe even at a faster pace, and there'll be none of this ridiculous seeing one another only once a week thing. It's the perfect plan."

"You realize there's more to marriage than go, right?"

Hikaru made a dismissive gesture. "Sure, that squishy romance stuff. If you really want, I can buy you chocolates and ling—er, flowers."

Touya sunk his head in his hands. "That's not quite what I meant."

"And dinner! I can totally cook you dinner like a good housewife!"

"I'm not certain what disturbs me more—your obliviousness, your willingness to treat me like a vapid girlfriend, or your constant references to yourself as a housewife." Touya's head remained in his hands.

"Well what else do you want?" asked Hikaru rather desperately. He'd thought of everything.

"Most marriages include at least _some_ sex, Shindou." Or not.

"Um."

"See?" Touya stood. "I'm going."

"Wait." Hikaru scrambled up to Touya's level, grabbing for his hands again. "I can do sex. I can totally do sex!"

Touya let out an exasperated huff of air and kissed him. It was wet. It was weird. It was similar to with Akari, but different, because this was _Touya_ and what the hell was he doing with his _tongue_? Hikaru let out an embarrassing noise and opened his mouth wider.

Touya pulled back, wide-eyed. "You weren't supposed to do that."

Hikaru grabbed Touya's hair and pulled him forward again.

"Ow!"

"Fuck!" Then, "Sorry, sorry, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Touya sat back down quickly, making space between them.

"Oh, good." Hikaru followed him down, crawling into his lap. "Now do that again."

"The smashing my head into yours?" asked Touya, turning his face away.

"That thing with your tongue," said Hikaru, putting his hands back in Touya's too soft hair. Seriously, what the hell kind of girly shampoo was he using? And where could Hikaru get some? It probably smelled like flowers. Hikaru had to check, leaning in and burying his face in it. Touya made a sound much like Hikaru's earlier one. It was much sexier from the other side.

"Shindou," said Touya, voice strangled.

"Hm?" It smelled like fruit. Touya was such a girly man.

"You've made your point. You can get off of me now."

"Marry me."

"Shindou."

"Give in."

"_Shindou_."

"Marry meeeee."

"Hikaru, I can't—"

"Oh, oh, Touya, you," Hikaru actually _looked_ at Touya, at the stiff way he held himself and how his lips were pulled back in something like a smile, but not. "Really?" he asked softly.

"Shut up." Touya's voice wavered.

It was one of the most awesome things ever, maybe even as good as go. Hikaru pulled him into a tight hug. "Say yes."

"No."

"Say yes."

"No."

"I'll buy you a ring."

"I'm _not_ marrying you."

In the end, Touya said that he was never letting Shindou alone with important things again. But Hikaru knew that he liked the simple matched inscriptions in the shape of go stones.

Notes: Further notes at manicjoy on livejournal.


End file.
